Guys may not be the best at finding the right words to say, but women aren’t totally off the hook. There are some things guys want to hear from their girlfriends that you don’t say to us nearly enough. Here are just a few of them.
- “I believe in you.” Yes, a lot of us are cocky and arrogant and have a world of belief in ourselves, but sometimes it’s nice to hear it from someone else, specifically someone close to us. Also, no matter how arrogant we may seem at times, we men can still get down on ourselves at times, so we need you to provide us with a pick-me-up to give us confidence and make us feel supported every once in a while.
- “You look so handsome.” You ladies aren’t the only ones who put effort into your appearance. Most of us try to look our best for you too. Just like women enjoy being complimented on their appearance, it’s nice when you say the same to us.
- “You look sexy like that.” Let’s be clear—there’s a difference between looking handsome and looking sexy. Being called handsome is like hearing, “You clean up really nice, good job.” Hearing that you think we look sexy is like hearing, “I’m getting a little turned on just looking at you.” Do you see the difference? Telling us that we look sexy is a nice reminder that you still get the urge to jump our bones.
- “You’re not like other guys.” Thank you for the wonderful compliment. I mean, sure, a lot of us are a dime a dozen, but it’s still nice to know that to you, we stand out from the crowd. Just like women, guys want to think that we’re special in some way, so please try to remind us of this every once in a while.
- “I love being in your arms.” Obviously, this is a thing to say while cuddling, and it’s always nice to hear. For starters, it makes us feel like we have big strong arms that can hold you tight. Yes, it’s a little caveman-ish, but that’s just how we’re programmed. Also, as you may know, cuddling isn’t always our favorite activity, so it’s at least nice to know that you’re getting something out of it.
- “You always make me smile.” Hopefully this is true, and if it is, it’s always good to hear. Remember, men get insecure sometimes too, worried that you’re going to find someone better. Hearing stuff like this makes us feel more secure that our relationship is a good one. That being said, this one you shouldn’t say if you don’t mean it; otherwise, you’re just sending mixed messages.
- “Have fun with your friends.” It’s not that we don’t care about you, but sometimes we need to hang out with our friends so we can do things we wouldn’t dream of doing in front of you. It’s also super cool of you to encourage us to go out with the guys instead of making us feel guilty about it. Kudos to you if this is your attitude when it comes to your boyfriend going out with his friends and leaving you at home.
- “I trust you.” This is a big one, as it should be. No one wants to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t trust them. In fact, if you don’t trust someone, you probably shouldn’t be with them at all. We like hearing that you have confidence in us and in our relationship as a whole.
- “Can you help me?” As long as you don’t ask this during the 4th quarter of a playoff game, we’re cool. You may think that asking us for help with something menial is bad, but sometimes it feels nice to be needed. Unless your boyfriend is a complete jerk, he’ll like that you asked him for a favor.
- “Let’s do it.” Obviously, this could refer to your eagerness to have sex and we’d be on board for that. However, saying “let’s do it” could be used in a different context. Either way, it shows that you’re agreeable with whatever we’re saying. It could be an idea for a fun date or proposing a vacation idea. We appreciate when you’re picking up when we’re putting down either way.
- “I was wrong.” To be fair, this is a two-way street. Both men and women have a tendency to be stubborn sometimes and not want to admit they made a mistake. When this happens, just say you were wrong so we can both move on, OK? We’ll work on doing the same.
- “What I want is…” Look, we’re not mind-readers. Also, we don’t always like playing games and having to de-code everything you say. If you want something, just come out and say it. We want you to be honest and tell us what you’re really thinking.
- “I think you’re great the way you are.” To be fair, saying this usually requires a little bit of exaggeration. Nevertheless, it always feels great to hear. I mean, no man is perfect, but it’s still nice to hear that you love us, flaws and all.
- “I’ll take the check.” Sorry, this is a little antiquated since most couples these days split the check when they go out to dinner anyway. However, if you’re still in that early period of the relationship when you’re still trying to make a good impression on the other person, it never hurts for a woman to pick up the check. If you’re with someone who’s a good guy and down with feminism (if not, you don’t want to date him anyway), he’ll be cool with it.
- “You were amazing last night.” Hearing this first thing in the morning is the perfect way for a man to start the day. You don’t even have to mean it. Frankly, you don’t even have to remember last night. Don’t get us wrong, it’d be great if you meant it. However, it’s something any guy would love to hear a woman say the morning after hooking up regardless.
Things guys don’t want to hear from their girlfriends
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Seriously, ladies, please never say these things.
- “Does this make me look fat?” It should be obvious why guys never want to hear this from their girlfriends or any other women in their lives. This is a trap every single time. If we tell you that you don’t look fat, you’ll tell us that we’re lying or “just being nice.” If we say anything less than a vehement “of course not!” then you think we’re total jerks who think you’re gross and ugly, which just isn’t true. Please, just stop asking.
- “I wish you were more like my ex.” Who would ever want to hear this? Women don’t like being compared to their boyfriend’s exes, so why would we want to? If your relationship with your previous partner was so great, why aren’t you with him still? Obviously, things weren’t that great, so telling us that you want us to be like him is ridiculous. It’s also degrading and makes us feel like crap, which should be enough of a reason not to do it.
- “You remind me of my dad.” Do I even need to explain this one? Women don’t generally have feelings of attraction towards their fathers, so telling us that we remind you of your dad is basically telling us that you’re just not that into us and putting us firmly in the friend zone. Even if you mean this as a compliment because you swear you want to meet someone as great as your dad, it just makes us feel weird and we’d rather not hear it.
- “Why don’t you ever go to the gym?” How rude is this? Imagine if your boyfriend told you to go to the gym or asked you why you don’t work out more? You would be totally offended, just like we are. This is especially harmful if you’re dating a guy who feels insecure about his body. He’ll see this as a harsh criticism and an implication that you don’t like his body or that he’s not good enough.
- “Man up!” There really are no circumstances in which this is appropriate. This actually just promotes toxic masculinity and implies that by not doing whatever it is you want us to do in the moment, we’re somehow falling short of your ideal of the perfect guy. Most of us are extremely protective of our masculinity and having it attacked like this could very well cause irreparable damage in the relationship.