Whether it was a serious relationship or just a fling over text, being ignored by a partner is incredibly painful. And while you may finally come to the realization that he does not deserve you, it can be hard to move on knowing that he feels no remorse. Here are a few ways to make him feel guilty and regret ignoring you so that you can finally put him behind you.
- Go silent for a while when he resurfaces. Chances are, he’s used to you responding pretty quickly to his long-awaited texts. If you want him to feel guilty for taking you for granted, it’s time to stop being so available. When he finally gets back in touch after being absent, don’t respond. Let him feel what it’s like to be left hanging. He won’t like it.
- When you do respond, make it short. When you’ve given him enough time to regret how he treated you, don’t go back to business as usual. You’re hurt and you shouldn’t pretend otherwise. He shouldn’t get the impression that you were just sulking and are now fine again. Respond in single sentences or even single words. This will show him that you’re not desperate for his attention, nor are you a pushover who can be treated like an afterthought.
- Don’t let him off the hook. He may look for forgiveness, but there’s no reason to give it to him right away. After all, he isn’t looking to apologize. He’s looking for reassurance that you don’t hate him. Don’t make the mistake of equating the two. No matter how pathetic he acts, you don’t have to forgive him at any point. Let him sit with the discomfort of his own actions. It might teach him a few things for the future and make him feel guilty for treating you badly.
- Pursue other options. Nothing makes a guy more regretful of a lost opportunity than good old-fashioned jealousy. When he sees you with someone else, he’ll be struck by how badly he messed up. And this will only serve as further confirmation that his heart was never in the right place. If he needs to be jealous in order to see your value, he could never have made a worthy partner.
- Focus on your inner glow. Nothing can replace the shine that comes from being content with who you are. You may struggle with your sense of self when you’re being undervalued by the person you like, but try to counteract this in any way you can. Go to therapy if you need to, or simply realign your priorities. Remember that the person who deserves to be with you will treat you with respect and attentiveness. The more you own your value, the more he’ll realize what an idiot he was for not appreciating it when he had the chance.
- Revamp your appearance. You should never feel like you have to change yourself for another person, but after a hard breakup, it can feel amazing to reinvent yourself. Whether it’s donating all your clothes and recreating your personal style or changing your hair color, distancing yourself from the version of you that was so unhappy with your personal life can be liberating and empowering. He’ll hardly recognize the new you, but you’ll feel more like yourself than you have in years.
- Get active on social media. It’s a tried and true strategy. While you’re ignoring his texts, communicate with him indirectly via social media. Post pictures of all the fun you’re having with your friends. Make him jealous that he’s not there with you, and show him how much you’re enjoying your life without him. This, combined with not responding to his texts, is guaranteed to drive him nuts (not to mention make him feel pretty guilty).
- Let your mutual friends know how happy you are. Word will travel that you are doing just fine without him, thank you very much. If his friends see you having a good time and acting as if you’ve happily moved on from him, he will hear about it. It will hit harder when he learns of your contentment from firsthand sources. You don’t need to see him in order to show him what a big mistake he made. Your friends will do it for you.
- Shut down any suggestion of a second (or third or fourth) chance. If you’ve been putting up with being treated badly, he is clearly a master of manipulation. But it’s time to end your toxic dynamic. Making him regret his actions toward you is closure, not an opportunity to let him back into your life on “new” terms. He has shown a clear track record of selfish behavior. He isn’t going to change now. Whatever you do, don’t let his sudden onset of regret draw you back into a relationship with him.
- Focus on the end goal. At the end of the day, you just want to be happy. He clearly did not make you happy, so make sure you don’t fall into the trap of wanting him back. No matter how much you want him to regret ignoring you, your ultimate goal is to move forward and be content, either by yourself or with someone new. Don’t go too far down the rabbit hole of making him regret his actions. At some point, it’s time to put him behind you and focus on the future.