Great guys may seem like mythological creatures but while they’re rare, they definitely exist. All the liars, players, and otherwise toxic men you date are just bumps in the road to finding a good one. Here’s how you know you’ve found the right guy, as well as why you shouldn’t worry if it hasn’t happened for you yet. Don’t worry, it will.
- There’s no game playing. No weeks of him going missing, no waiting to get a text back, and the relationship flows naturally. It’s not always easy (love never is), but it works. It’s not forced. You’re not bending pieces until they fit. The right guy has the same goals in mind as you and game playing isn’t going to help reach them. You can trust him. Trust is such a rarity these days, but he’ll never give you a reason to doubt him.
- You feel safe with him. The world can be cold but the right guy can be your safe place. A man is instinctively protective of those he loves. “The One” makes it his priority to make sure no one or thing hurts you, unlike the jerks before who made you feel vulnerable and sometimes ashamed. No place feels safer than wrapped up in his arms.
- You can rely on him when things get tough. It’s not easy to find someone who has your back no matter what—most guys can barely put in the effort to text you back. Finding the right guy is finding someone who WANTS to be there for you. He wants to make sure you’re safe and well taken care of. He’s that ride-or-die guy for you. Life becomes easier with a good partner by your side, and sometimes, it can literally save your life.
- You never feel alone. You see yourself with him forever. You don’t picture lonely Christmas Eves sharing old Chinese food with your cat. You have someone by your side with whom you can face the world. No matter what life brings to you, you know you can get through it with him by your side. Most importantly, you never have to doubt that he’s by your side and in your corner. He proves it over and over again.
- He keeps you balanced. The right guy matches, loves, and respects your fire while making sure you don’t burn out. On the hard days, he’s there to lift you up. On the great days, he’s ready to catch you in case you fall. If you’re nervous, he’s your serenity and if you’re feeling wild, he’s there to cheer you on. The right relationship keeps you balanced so you never fall too hard or fly too close to the sun. When you meet the right guy, you’re on an even keel.
- He boosts your confidence. He doesn’t nitpick your imperfections to bring you down. Actually, he teaches you to LOVE your imperfections just as he does. He doesn’t call you names or criticize you in subtle or overt ways. Instead, he reminds you every day in hundreds of different ways that you’re beautiful. He makes you feel like you can take any challenge head-on. His focus is to build you up, not tear you down. Life is way easier with a support system to fall back on.
- You’re finally able to let your guard down. No spending three hours trying to think of witty one-liners. No Photoshop. No secrets or lies or embellishments. This relationship is past all that because you impress him for who you are and not who you feel like you have to pretend to be. You can truly be the rawest version of yourself and be loved for it. There’s nothing more liberating than being truly loved for who you are.
- You don’t fight dirty. There’s a difference between disagreeing, arguing, and actually FIGHTING. You don’t always have to agree, and there are times you make each other mad and step on each other’s toes because you’re two totally different people. However, when you argue, you don’t fight dirty. You communicate productively because you both have the same goal in mind—a happy relationship and a future together.
- He’s your best friend. You want him around for everything and everything is better with him by your side. If something great happens, he’s the first person you want to share it with. If something terrible happens, he’s the person you need by your side to get you through. It’s more than just a physical relationship—hell, it’s even more than an emotional relationship. He just GETS you like only a best friend would.
- Home becomes a person. You could move halfway across the country with him and still feel like you’re home. You can be on an entirely different planet and feel OK because he’s there with you. You know what they say—”home is where the heart is” — and this relationship helps you realize how true that saying is.
- He’s not afraid of labels. After a decently appropriate amount of time getting to know each other, he won’t have any problem calling you his girlfriend. Commitment doesn’t send him running for the hills and his not concerned with what will happen if he puts your relationship on social media. A guy who isn’t interested in being your boyfriend will tell you things like he doesn’t believe in labels or doesn’t want to move too fast. Things with a guy who is interested will progress naturally, and you won’t constantly feel the need to ask, “What are we?”
Things you no longer have to worry about when you meet the right guy
- How perfect your life looks on Instagram. You don’t need to post hundreds of pictures of your boyfriend in order to feel validated. If you actually decide to post one, it won’t be of the two of you kissing for the camera. It’ll be of you making silly faces with beer bottles in your hands, because who cares how others view you?
- Following ridiculous relationship rules. If you have something to say to him, you’ll double text him without giving it a second thought. You’ll even triple text him, because you know rules were meant to be broken.
- If your friends approve of your partner. If you know you’re with the right person, you won’t give a damn about how cute you two look to the outside world. If your friends all hate him, so what? They’ll just have to deal with it.
- Queefing or bumping heads in bed. Sex isn’t a nerve-racking experience, anymore. If anything embarrassing happens, you’ll just laugh it off.
- Shaving every inch of your skin. Your boyfriend isn’t going to freak out when he runs his hand up your leg and feels a little bit of stubble. He has plenty of it on his chin. It’s only natural.
- Spending hours getting ready. Your boyfriend already knows you can rock a little black dress and stilettos. He doesn’t have to be reminded of it every time you step foot in his house. That’s why you usually just show up in jeans and a sweatshirt.
- If the pets are watching you get it on. You’re not going to shield your cat’s eyes when he peeks at you during sex. He’s seen it all before, anyway.
- How much money you spend on each other. You’re long past the time of trying to impress each other. If you know your partner would prefer a bag of Cheetos to a gold watch, then you’ll buy the cheaper gift. It’s the thought that counts.
- Where you go on your dates. You don’t have to go out to five-star restaurants every Friday to keep the romance alive. You’d be perfectly happy sitting on the couch, playing a drinking game while you watch Fuller House.
- How often you’ve been having sex. You’re not going to keep count of all of the times you two have gotten it on. As long as you’re both sexually satisfied, there’s nothing to worry about. It isn’t a competition.
- Sending the perfect texts. You’re not going to spend hours crafting the perfect reply to his messages. You’re just going to type out your response without bothering to see if autocorrect changed anything. He knows you well enough to understand what you’re trying to say, even if there are typos galore.
- Looking sexy in pictures. Instead of slipping into your lingerie to have a photo shoot for him, you’ll send him selfies without wearing makeup or even smiling at the camera. He knows what you look like, so what’s the difference?